the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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