Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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