Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
