does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize