I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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