cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize