Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
