your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
