Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
