I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
