She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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