The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
