my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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