Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
