he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
