thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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