C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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