the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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