at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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