marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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