If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
