I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
