I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
