i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
