I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
