Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
