I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize