out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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