Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
its not stalking. its research.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
