You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
