Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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