I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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