Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize