i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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