I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
