The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have post one night stand depression
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
