i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
