Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
