rhymes with "ouble enetration"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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