you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
