Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hope mine doesn't look like that
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
