You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
In other news, I just burned my penis
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
third nipple confirmed
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
