Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
