I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
