she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
