That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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