Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
