i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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