so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
