i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
