so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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