oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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