I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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