if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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