suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize