false alarm. still invincible.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
