I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
