Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
