I bet he comes in French.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize