HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
