Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
did you just send me my own nude
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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