The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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