Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
