Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize