i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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