It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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