WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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