can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
