do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
