she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
But break dance skills will only take you so far
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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