My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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