can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
