doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
