Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
