It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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